Soul Imprints of Perfection
We were all born with certain soul imprints. We bring them into this life with the deep knowing of how we want to be seen, how we need to be held, hugged, loved. While we are still young, with the purest open heart and full of innocence, we feel those longings and are completely in touch with them – but we cannot name them or make them really conscious. Some of us are lucky to have a mother or a father, who gives us the look of the eye that enables the experience “I am seen and loved exactly as I need. I am held and I feel safe. I feel free to be and to receive.” Then we can keep the warm nourishing contact with the wishes of our soul. But most of us are not that lucky.
The Journey
While our human nature grows and our ego develops, the layers fall above our pure innocence. This is what we are supposed to do as human beings and there is nothing wrong about it. While growing into our humanness, we meet all kinds of seeings, holdings, kisses and hugs. At first, we might search for the perfect one, but quite soon realize how seldom they are. In time we get used to having less – maybe a quarter less? Or only 40% of the perfect hug, 50% of the perfect look?
A quarter less is actually a lot. Many of us get used to living on hardly anything. Sometimes it just never works. If it never worked in the early childhood – our first and strongest mirror – we will probably pretty fast get used to that “never working out”. We might even get used to the painful or the harmful.
Forgetting
We actually want to forget the perfection, because the soul longing is so strong, it does not compromise – it burns and hurts every time it’s not fulfilled. So, we do our best to forget and in time we get lost in the labyrinth of different holdings, kisses and lookings. We get used to be seen in a more or less distorted mirror and cherish the imperfection that gives us at least something we can hold onto. Only once we are mature enough do we know that it is the question of finding that “good enough” that still makes me feel as my soulful self.
What happens to the pure and innocent soul longing? It is there, like it always was and it always will be. It’s just buried under the layers of our lost self, below seeking through the labyrinth, the layers of sadness of each disappointment, under the scars of harmful distortions. Sometimes we protect ourselves by inability to fully receive, so even a true gift cannot fall into the right place.
We are big and strong human beings, and in time we know that the world is not a perfect place and that nobody promised us our needs will be perfectly met. Yes, we need to develop those special muscles to deal with the imperfect world. We move the holding from the outside into the inside and practice our own perfect look onto ourselves. The sad thing is only that we still try to forget the original whispers of the soul. That we don’t dare to believe in magic any more, like a child does, because we fear the pain of disappointment. Often - even when we honestly work with our inner being - we might have a hidden agenda of protecting ourselves from the pain.
Remembering
Don’t forget the longing! Remember the knowing of the perfection, it is there inside of you – right now! Let the knowing be there, while you embrace the whole imperfect world into your heart space! It’s a difficult task that takes a strong brave heart and determined soul, not to forget the sky while having your feet on the ground.
Only then - if the perfect one shines onto you one day - the soulful place is ready for it. It’s open, it’s vulnerable, but also welcoming. You might not believe in it anymore, but nevertheless, it might happen one day. You could get that touch, kiss or look, but with too many layers of pain in between, you will push it away. Choosing unconsciously rather not to have the fulfillment than to risk feeling the accumulated pain. Because, yes, the urge of unfulfilled soul is amazingly painful. Every time it happens it feels like dying. Our limited humanness often can’t deal with that much dying. But be strong, go and listen to your precious heart-soul. Trust it. It is yours, there is nothing wrong about it. You are neither a perfectionist nor lost in an illusion when you believe in it.
Receiving
If one day you happen to be one of the lucky ones who get the perfect kiss, hug or look, you will probably first have to grieve all the times you betrayed your heart and settled for less. These tears will remind you of the unconditional love you have been waiting for your whole life. Receiving the unconditional love is the hardest thing of all - it lightens every little corner inside of you that once was not loved. Let those sacred tears of pain and joy flow and cleanse your heart, so you can feel your uniqueness and the bliss of inner harmony again.
The beautiful paradox is: it’s your soul kiss, made of the substance of your soul, and still – you have to receive it from the other. You cannot create it, there is absolutely nothing you can do about getting it! You can only keep yearning for it, soft and open to receive it one day. It is the act of another soul to bless you straight into your heart-soul-space, awakening the abyss of sadness and happiness while you are remembering what you always knew.
The Magic of Perfection
There is no perfection in the duality of our worldly life. But there is perfection in the unity of the soul world, where illusions disappear. Actually, perfection is all there is in that world.
One day, it might happen - all the hidden causalities mix together and the final drop of grace falls onto you, opening you to receive that perfect look, hug or kiss. You dive into pure Magic, into the golden glittering world made of truth and unconditional love. You remember innocence. Your humanness feels precious, your soul feels recognized.
Just like with Sleeping Beauty, it takes nothing less and nothing more but the Perfect Kiss to awake you from the sleep of duality into the magic of unity. The veil is removed, the truth uncovered, and all the adventures and detours you’ve ever made suddenly make perfect sense. With your longing fully nourished suddenly you know who you are meant to be. No more questions arise, only peace, awe and wonder. With the soulful eyes of your heart, you see the true essence of all things – the unconditional love, the perfection’s true name.
There are many ways of entering the soul world of unity. But this one is a special one. The perfect kiss from the beloved reminds us that we belong - to everything and to each other.
~ For H. with Love ~